Intensive Marriage Therapy
Love and relationships can be both exhilarating and difficult to navigate. It’s amazing how these emotions can make us feel alive, but they can also bring us to our lowest points. We embark on this journey without any formal training, armed only with what we’ve observed from others and our own experiences. But let’s face it, those sources aren’t always the best teachers. This is why every couple could benefit from couples counseling.
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Marriage therapy, like any form of therapy, may not be an appropriate option in certain situations. While it can be highly beneficial for many couples, there are some instances where it may not be the best course of action. This is specifically true for intensive couples therapy. Here are a few situations where marriage therapy may not be a good idea:
If there is a history of domestic violence, abuse, or any situation where there is a risk of harm to one or both partners, individual safety takes precedence. In such cases, ensuring immediate safety and seeking appropriate help, such as shelter, legal protection, or counseling specifically focused on trauma and abuse, should be the priority.
If one or both partners are not committed to working on the relationship or have already made a firm decision to separate or divorce, marriage therapy may not be effective. Both partners need to be willing to actively participate and invest in the therapy process for it to be successful. If one partner is leaning into the relationship and the other partner is leaning out or unsure what he or she wants, discernment counseling would be a better option than marriage therapy.
In order for marriage therapy to be effective, a certain level of stability and sobriety is typically necessary. Addiction is a complex issue that often requires specialized treatment and support on an individual level. Active addictions can impair communication, trust, and emotional connection, making it difficult to engage in the couples therapy process. In cases where one or both partners are struggling with addiction, it is generally recommended that they seek individual therapy or treatment specifically tailored to address addiction-related issues before beginning relational therapy.
Sometimes, individual issues such as severe mental health disorders, addictions (mentioned above), or personal crises may be better addressed through individual therapy before engaging in couples therapy. In these cases, it may be more effective to work on individual healing and personal growth before addressing relationship dynamics.
In marriage therapy, both partners ideally come with a shared commitment to work on the relationship and address the issues at hand. An ongoing affair is indicative that the unfaithful partner is not ready to fully commit to therapy or to repairing the relationship. Rebuilding trust is a crucial component of marriage therapy, but when the affair is still ongoing, it’s impossible to establish a foundation of trust necessary for productive therapy sessions. It’s also impossible for the unfaithful partner to begin to emotionally invest in the marriage again. You can’t create safety in your marriage if there is a safety net somewhere else.
Marriage therapy after an affair has ended is often a crucial step to healing and rebuilding the relationship. It is imperative, however, that the affair be discontinued or the individuals be in the process of ending the affair before beginning marriage therapy.
If you have questions about marriage therapy being a good option for your situation, please read more about intensive based marriage therapy and reach out for a free consultation. We can discuss your individual needs and concerns and determine if it is the right fit.
As the wife of a cancer surgeon, I hear about cancer cases every day. The young father who found colon cancer early and is expected to make a full recovery or the grandmother who is being treated for a tiny lump found during a routine mammogram. I also hear about the patient who has a tumor the size of a watermelon in his abdomen and is coming in for the first time. He reports it has been growing for years and causing tremendous pain, but he didn’t want to worry about it. As a marriage therapist, I feel those cases are strikingly similar the ones I see in my office.
Research indicates that on average, couples live in unhappy, distressed marriages for seven years before seeking help from a therapist. By the time they come in for therapy, both partners have spent years hurting and disconnected. Continue Reading
If you have ever asked yourself, “Do we need marriage counseling?” then that is a pretty good indication that you should pursue that thought.
I believe that dedicating time to improving your relationship can be beneficial for every couple. Seeking guidance from a professional marriage therapist can help you develop the best possible relationship.
Romantic relationships are one of those things that few of us receive any training in. The only knowledge we have comes from watching our parents and other couples, and our own past romantic relationships. Most of the time, those are not the best teachers.
Yet there is often a lot of hesitation and shame associated with couples counseling. We are afraid of what others will think if they find out we are seeing a marriage therapist. Or maybe there is the fear that marriage therapy won’t work. It is a big investment – in time, money, and emotional energy. “Do I really want to invest so much when I’m not sure really we need marriage counseling or that it will help?”Continue Reading
Sue Johnson has done it again! What remarkable research in the field of relationships. I think the reason I appreciate Sue’s work so much is it is not just gimmicky advice. She clearly explains, in a reader- friendly way, what the current research on love tells us. She demonstrates what we know about love and how it makes sense, and she provides real, conversational examples of couples that find their way out of disconnection to a safe and lovingly attached relationship. The examples she uses in Love Sense really are inspirational. They are just normal people, like you and me, who have found the answers and made it work.
I purchased the audio book and Audible as well as the hard copy. Some audio books are so painful to listen to, but Sue’s soothing voice made my driving kids to and fro much more pleasant. It was actually really cool – I would arrive somewhere and have her words so fresh in my mind that I found them making an instant impact. While I like the hard copy to highlight and refer back to, I would highly recommend the audio version. I think there is something really powerful about hearing her tone and expressions.
It is clear that Sue is a leader, if not THE leader in the field of Couple Relationships and that she not only knows the other research out there, but she is contributing to the current research and raising the standard of what acceptable results are in terms of creating and maintaining love.
I would recommend this to everyone who wants to understand and improve any relationship.
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Inevitably, all of my clients want to know, “If this is normal – this pursuing and withdrawing, how do we fix it.”
The good news is that because we know how relationships go wrong, we do know how to fix it. We understand that while it may appear that we are fighting over sex, money, or in-laws, we are really caught in this negative cycle of pursuing and withdrawing and don’t know how to get out. Recognizing the cycle – to the point that each of you can own your position in it and fully understand what it is that you do – pursue or withdraw and why – is the first step in healing it.
After Anna realizes Elsa’s power to freeze and why she has stayed hidden and closed off for so many years, she chases Elsa to her “Kingdom of Isolation,” declaring her understanding and love for Elsa.Continue Reading
