Grief Archives

How to Change Negative Thoughts

by Dr. Kim Blackham

This week I started preparing for a presentation I’m giving to a large women’s organization. The main topic is depression and mental health. This is a topic our society does not talk about enough. We all struggle with feeling down and discouraged. Sometimes that discouragement can be debilitating.

There are a couple of different schools of thought on how to deal with depression. One of them is using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). If you can change your thoughts, you can change your feelings. Continue Reading

Does Insurance Pay for Couples’ Therapy?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Insurance coverage for couples’ therapy can vary depending on the insurance company and policy. While some insurance plans may provide coverage for couples’ therapy, it’s important to note that not all insurance plans cover this type of therapy. The best way to know what is covered under your plan is to call the number on the back of your insurance card. There are some specific questions you’ll want to ask:

1. Does my insurance plan cover marriage counseling/couples’ therapy? Some insurance companies will cover individual counseling with a family member present or will cover family therapy. Ask your insurance company if they cover couples therapy. Continue Reading

The Inside Scoop About Online Therapy

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Every week I receive several emails asking if I provide online therapy.

There are many reasons why online therapy is a good idea.

Online therapy allows people who live in small communities to reach specialists who may not live near them.
Online therapy allows people the opportunity to work with therapists who specialize in a specific population or treatment model. For example, I am a certified emotionally focused therapist who specializes in working with physician couples. If you are a physician couple looking for an EFT therapist, chances are you are going to have a hard time finding someone with those credentials who lives near you.
Those who offer online therapy may be able to offer more flexible appointment times.

The Three Levels of Grateful – Understanding how Gratitude Changes Lives

by Dr. Kim Blackham

As Thanksgiving approaches, we will inevitably hear much about the importance of gratitude. Our Facebook feeds will be filled with gratitude posts, Sunday school lessons throughout the month will focus on this topic, and as parents, we will try to help our children understand this principle before they begin asking for Christmas gifts.

Yet as we talk about gratitude, I often feel as though our discussions are incomplete, and I am mindful of those who are struggling to feel grateful when their lives are full of many hardships.

As I have grown in my understanding and application of gratitude, I have realized that gratitude really exists on three levels.

Let’s call the first level The Magic Words Level.

Memory Bears: Help Children Grieve the Loss of a Loved One

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Loss can be so difficult for children of all ages. They often don’t have the language to express their grief or may not have the understanding to process what has happened. Many children are afraid they will forget the person who has died or gone away.

Rituals and mementos are powerful healing agents. That is why we have funerals – as a ritual to mark the end and help provide closure. To a child, however, the funeral often doesn’t make much sense. Having a ritual where the child walks away with a tangible reminder of the experience and the loved one can help in the healing process.Continue Reading

How to Help Someone Grieve: Casseroles or Kleenex?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Three years ago last month some of our dear friends, Andrea and Tyler Gasser, lost their four month old little boy, Beckett. She went upstairs to her bedroom to wake him up from a nap only to find him unconscious. Days in the pediatric ICU did not revive him.

I remember when I received the phone call telling me that they had asked someone to bring them a pair of jammies and a blanket from home so they could wrap him up and hold him one last time before they removed life support and said good-bye. I wept for their family. My heart still hurts for them. At the time, I had a 4 week old baby boy and I grieved along with her as I could so easily imagine myself in her situation.

When these kinds of tragedies or difficulties happen, most of us do not know what to do or what to say. We don’t know how to help someone grieve. We know that our expressions of, “I’m so sorry for your loss” feel trite and even awkward, yet we care deeply and want to help. Most of the time, we just don’t know how.Continue Reading