Blog - Dr. Kim Blackham

What to do when you don’t know what to do

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Have you ever felt paralyzed by a decision that feels impossible to make? Or filled with doubt, confusion, and overwhelm–wishing someone would just make the decision for you? Me too.

Every time my husband ends one phase of his medical career and moves on to the next, I feel like we end up in the same quicksand of indecision. We know we need to choose something, but we want to make the “right” choice.

We are all faced with complicated and weighty decisions. When I am in that situation, I have found there are six things I can do when I don’t know what to do.Continue Reading

When Enough is Enough

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Did you know that willpower is a finite resource? It’s true. There comes a point when you can’t just keep telling yourself to keep on.

I was reminded of that this week as the stress level at our house continues to mount with our upcoming move. I found myself frequently reaching for my favorite chocolates. (They really are AMAZING if you need an unhealthy way to help you manage your own stress.)

That’s because I am using my willpower for other things. Such as not yelling at my kids when they interrupt me while I’m on the phone. Or not completely losing it when my husband tells me he is on call again. Or not getting angry at my son’s teacher when something isn’t handled the way I would have liked. All my willpower is being diverted to other emotionally draining situations that when a chocolate covered caramel sounds good, I decide I should probably eat three.Continue Reading

5 Ways to Take Care of You

by Dr. Kim Blackham

A few years ago I met with the wife of a urologist who had just started his private practice job. They had three small children and she had chosen to quit her job as an attorney and stay home with them.

She was tired. Residency had taken its toll on their relationship and on her own emotional, physical, and spiritual health. She was so consumed with the business aspect of running their home—laundry, groceries, bills, school—that she admitted that she rarely thought about the needs of her husband.

“I’ve sacrificed so much for him already,” she told me in tears one day. “I am tired. I have nothing more to give.”

There’s a name for what this sweet woman was experiencing: compassion fatigue. It is frequently felt by those in helping professions—doctors, nurses, therapists, etc.—as well as those in the often care-giving roles of mother, wife, husband, or father.Continue Reading