Intensive Marriage Therapy
Since the day she graduated from college, my wife wanted to get a Master’s degree in marriage and family therapy. That goal was set aside as we started a family and as I started medical school. She planned to enroll once my training was over and the kids were in school. Then, medical school turned into residency with talk of fellowship and pretty soon Kim’s dreams were to be postponed more than a decade! Continue Reading
While being a doctor may come with a comfortable salary, becoming a doctor comes with years of tight budgets, massive debt, and delayed gratification. Kim and I lived solely off student loans during medical school—during which we had two children. At least in residency we stopped accumulating debt, but working the equivalent of two full-time jobs for less than minimum wage and still living paycheck to paycheck for years has been extremely stressful. Continue Reading
I’m sure we received the same counsel you did on your wedding day: “Keep courting your spouse your entire marriage.” True, it is great advice, but the stress and time constraints of residency can easily push aside our commitment to courtship and romance. My wife and I found little ways to show each other our love, appreciation and commitment–love notes left on the kitchen counter; a thoughtful text in the middle of the day; candlelight spaghetti dinner after the kids went to bed. Continue Reading
For me, the pace of residency often leaves little time to think of other things. I routinely forget the day of the week and struggle to remember my wife’s schedule. I often lose track of time until 5 or 6 in the evening. All the while, my wife is busy living her almost completely separate life. More often than not, come 5 or 6 pm she is left wondering if I will make it home for dinner or not. Continue Reading
Some of the hardest times during residency were when we went days or weeks without spending quality time together. There were times we only crossed paths a few times a week. Over the years, we learned how important it was to connect every day. Continue Reading
I love being a surgeon. I love being a surgeon. The awe of human anatomy. The adrenaline rush that comes with each incision. The satisfaction of dropping the tumor-inflicted organ in a bucket. Congratulating cancer survivors on cancer-free surveillance scans. I can’t imagine a more rewarding job. But surgery is not my top priority and never will be. Continue Reading
