Marriage experts used to assume that couples fought mostly over what I call “content issues“–the things a couple discusses during a fight, such as money, in-laws, sex, and parenting styles.  They believed that if they addressed each individual content issue, they could help the couple improve their relationship.  But addressing the content of the fights often didn’t do much to heal the relationships. New issues would crop up, and the fighting and struggle to understand each other would continue.

Now we understand that most (if not all) of the reasons why couples fight are emotional disconnections that manifest as content issues.  Not sure what that means? Take a quick minute and watch this short movie clip from The Break Up.  You’ll see the two main characters fighting pretty intensely–over lemons.  But is that really what they’re fighting about? See if you can relate! Continue Reading