Emotions play an important role in your relationships as they are the driving force behind all of our actions. They can either bring you closer to your partner or they can create distance and conflict. By learning how to effectively manage your emotions, you can build a stronger bond with your partner and have a more peaceful relationship.
Understanding Your Emotions
The first key to manage your emotions is to understand your emotions. Emotions are complex and can be challenging to identify and describe accurately. Recognizing and naming your emotions, triggers, and reactions can help you choose how you want to respond in different situations.
Managing Your Emotions
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a very helpful skill to use when working to manage your emotions. When you are mindful, you are paying attention to what is happening in the present moment without judgement. It involves focusing on your thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations, without trying to change or suppress them. This can be especially difficult because our minds often want to focus on the past or think about and prepare for the future. Most people also struggle with sitting with emotions and thoughts without judging themselves. Begin to pay attention to the things you say to yourself about your thoughts and emotions and work to have a more non-judgemental approach. Meditation, breathing exercises, prayer, and body scanning are helpful techniques as you are learning this process.
Take a Break
When your emotions become overwhelming or out of control, step back and take some time to cool off. It’s okay to take a timeout. A timeout to manage your emotions is much better than allowing your emotions to run wild and then later regretting the things you did or said when you were upset. Many people find being out in nature, exercising, deep breathing/relaxation exercises, reading a book, or mediating are helpful as they try to regain their composure.
Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is communicating your emotions, experience, and needs in a way that invites another person to be close and to provide comfort and support. When emotions are hot, it is hard to communicate effectively. You may even think you are being clear and direct about how you feel, but if it is laced with blame and criticism, your partner will most likely be unable to hear and respond how you need them to. Try to use “I” statements instead of blaming your partner. For example, instead of saying “You always make me angry,” try saying “I feel hurt and frustrated when I don’t feel listened to.”
It may feel challenging to manage your emotions on your own. Talking with a therapist can help you gain perspective and develop strategies to improve the chances of your partner hearing and responding to you in the way you need.
