Who has the Type A personality in your home? Is it you? Your spouse? One of your kids? People with Type A personalities often get a bad rap. That’s because people with Type A personalities are generally more competitive and task oriented. They are driven by schedules and productivity. Sitting around waiting for other people makes them crazy!
While there are many advantages to Type A behaviors, there are also physical risks. Type A lifestyles and behaviors lead to greater risk for heart disease and stress-related illnesses. Type A behaviors may also lead more towards task completion than relationship development. I have two suggestions for how to manage your own Type A personality. But first, a warning–if you have a Type A personality, you’ll probably look at this post and think it’s stupid. I know, because that’s exactly how my Type A personality would have seen this list years ago too. But let me promise you something, the more you focus on these principles, the more you will actually excel!
1. Not Everything in Life Deserves an ‘A’ Effort
This is a mantra have to repeat at least once a week. Many elements of our society suggest otherwise. Messages of airbrushed beauty, Pinterest-perfect parties, and cotillion created kids fill the minds and hearts of parents everywhere. Mothers, I believe, are especially susceptible to this thinking. A few months ago I saw someone post an article on Facebook that referred to how we present ourselves in Christmas cards. It used to be that we would add a candid family shot to a letter or card and call it good enough. Now, the majority of Christmas cards we receive are professional photos instead. I don’t think there is anything wrong with that at all. The professional family pictures are adorable and receiving Christmas cards each year is my favorite part of the holidays. But this last year, I was tempted to send a picture of our family in our home, dishes in the sink, homework on the counter, and kids teasing each other. It would have been a more accurate description of daily life for our family. Instead, for the first time in 15 years, I did not send a Christmas card. Why? Because it was something I could eliminate in order to find greater balance and focus on the things that matter most.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to maintain an A effort in everything. But you can maintain a B+ effort in a lot of things and an A effort in a few. While I was finishing my PhD, I’d say my house averaged a B+. Sometimes it was better than that (if I knew you were coming over) and sometimes it was worse. But there was no way I could spend the day caring for my family, writing a dissertation, continuing to work, AND keep an immaculate home. There are just not enough hours in the day. Once I was willing to accept that good enough is good enough, I could pursue more of my dreams NOW instead of putting them off until I could perfectly run my whole life. The truth is, good enough is often good enough.
2. No matter how hard you try, you can’t have it all.
Everything you choose to spend your time on comes at the expense of everything else that doesn’t get your time. We are so blessed to live in a world that allows us tremendous opportunities. But we assume that with those opportunities comes an entitlement to all of them. I call it the Google Fallacy. Just because we can find the answer or opportunity on Google doesn’t mean we should try to be an expert in it. When you strive to have it all, you will end up living a fragmented and stressed life. In the end, you will most likely look back with a lot of regret at the things you missed out on in your quest for more.
All my life I have been told that there is a time and season for everything. The truth is, I’m not really a time and seasons kind of girl. It’s hard to accept you can’t have it all. But I believe it is the only way to live without regret. Determine your priorities–what matters most to you. And then make daily decisions based on those priorities. There will be opportunities you miss. There will be things you could have accomplished, that you never pursued. But if you are making those decisions based on your number one priority when all is said and done, you will look back satisfied with your life.
So what do you need to stop obsessing over and let good enough be good enough?
