Medical Marriages Archives

Dining with Colleagues – What’s the Big Deal?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Several years ago, a prominent politician made the comment that he would not eat alone with a woman other than his wife. Some people were offended–claiming that statement and behavior degraded women. Others stated his behavior was archaic. As a marriage therapist, it was curious for me to watch this national conversation unfold. Perhaps I can share a perspective that was not mentioned in the headlines.

(Please note that these opinions have nothing to do with political affiliation, but rather with my experience helping hundreds of couples heal deeply painful wounds.)

Does Insurance Pay for Couples’ Therapy?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Insurance coverage for couples’ therapy can vary depending on the insurance company and policy. While some insurance plans may provide coverage for couples’ therapy, it’s important to note that not all insurance plans cover this type of therapy. The best way to know what is covered under your plan is to call the number on the back of your insurance card. There are some specific questions you’ll want to ask:

1. Does my insurance plan cover marriage counseling/couples’ therapy? Some insurance companies will cover individual counseling with a family member present or will cover family therapy. Ask your insurance company if they cover couples therapy. Continue Reading

Do Your Words Really Impact Your Spouse?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

The other day I was walking through Costco when I heard a husband suggest to his wife that they get a bag of dog food. She critically responded, “We don’t need that whole bag of dog food. He’ll never go through it all.”

“It was just a suggestion,” her husband responded with an edge of defensiveness in his voice.

We kept passing each other on the aisles through the store. At one point she asked her husband to get a large bag of rice. He picked up the long grain rice and she snapped at him, “Do I ever buy long grained rice? We have been married for seven years. In seven years, have I even bought long grained rice?”Continue Reading

Writing Your Marriage Mission Statement

by Dr. Kim Blackham

A couple of weeks ago my husband and I were running errands. I thought we were going to Kohls to make some returns, he thought we were going to Lowe’s. He was driving.

We are still new to this city, so we are still trying to find our way around town. I didn’t think he knew how to get to Kohls so I kept trying to give him directions, but he assured me he knew how to get there. It was obvious to me we were going the wrong direction, but I figured he either knew of a different Kohls or would eventually realize he was lost. When we pulled into the Lowe’s parking lot, he got out of the car like nothing was wrong. That was when I realized we were each headed to separate destinations.

Is Your Unhappy Relationship Slowly Killing You?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Research suggests that being in an unhappy relationship can have negative health effects. Studies have found that people who are in unhappy relationships are more likely to experience a range of health problems, including cardiovascular disease, chronic pain, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. In fact, some research has suggested that the health effects of being in an unhappy relationship can be as damaging as smoking two packs of cigarettes a day, which is a well-known risk factor for various of health problems. It’s important to prioritize your mental and physical health and seek support if you’re in an unhappy relationship.Continue Reading

What does it take to be good at marriage, when failure is so easy?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

In his book, Better, writer, surgeon, and researcher Dr. Atul Gwande asked, “What does it take to be good at something in which failure is so easy, so effortless?”

I hear this concern from many couples in medical relationships. When I ask physician couples what topics are most pressing and concerning to them, the overwhelming theme is what does it take to make a medical marriage work when the challenges are so prevalent?Continue Reading