Marriage Archives

Don’t Fail Because You’ve Drifted Apart

by Dr. Kim Blackham

One afternoon, while my husband and I were snorkeling off a fairly remote beach in Kauai, I learned a frightening lesson about how quickly one can drift off course. As we swam through the crystal-clear water, we were captivated by the underwater world of colorful fish and vibrant coral reefs. With our heads and our minds immersed in these awe-inspiring sights and the tranquility of the ocean, we stopped paying attention to where we were physically in relation to the beach.

After about 45 minutes or snorkeling, I looked up and back to shore. I could barely see the beach!

Not Allowing Technology to Rule Your Life

by Dr. Kim Blackham

It’s funny for me to tell our children about the days when there was no email, internet, or cell phones. I certainly don’t feel very old—I’m not very old!—but those days feel like a lifetime ago.

Smiling young woman text messaging on smart phone while embracing man against white background. Horizontal shot.

Technology has changed almost everything about our lives. It allows us to stay connected with anyone at almost any time. But it has also created an enormous distraction from the things that matter most.

So how do you use technology to build connection, rather than damage it? Continue Reading

Is a Marriage Conference Worth it? {What the Participants Say}

by Dr. Kim Blackham

I hope you had a wonderful Valentines weekend. I missed my usual Friday post because I was leading a two-day marriage conference this weekend. What a remarkable experience we had!

We tune up everything in our lives. We fertilize the lawn each spring, take the car for routine maintenance and oil changes, and get our hair cut on a regular schedule. We get yearly physicals, clean our teeth every six months, and have regular parent-teacher conferences to make sure our kids are on track. Yet most people don’t ever take the time to tune up their marriage. Continue Reading

Keeping Intimacy Alive – Q&A

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Question: I don’t know how to make [physical] intimacy a priority in our relationship. My husband is often gone, and when he is home, I’m either too tired or not interested because we haven’t been emotionally close for days. What can we do to keep the intimacy alive in our relationship?

Answer: I actually receive some form of this question several times a week! It is a very common concern from physician couples at all stages.

While there are many elements that feed into improving intimacy in a relationship, I want to address three strategies you can begin to implement right now that can strengthen your physical connection.Continue Reading

Making Job Decisions Together

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Finding a job–especially that first “real job” out of medical training–is stressful and exciting all at the same time. You’ve both sacrificed for so many years and are anxious to have the hard times come to an end. For many physician couples, the task of finding that golden goose “package deal” is filled with anxiety.

Smiling young couple lying on floor of new flat

It is also a time when many couples struggle to make the big decisions together and work as a team.

After all the years a non-medical spouse spends supporting his or her physician partner through training, it can be extremely hurtful to be left out of the decision-making process when it comes time to find a job. Continue Reading

The Inside Scoop About Online Therapy

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Every week I receive several emails asking if I provide online therapy.

There are many reasons why online therapy is a good idea.

Online therapy allows people who live in small communities to reach specialists who may not live near them.
Online therapy allows people the opportunity to work with therapists who specialize in a specific population or treatment model. For example, I am a certified emotionally focused therapist who specializes in working with physician couples. If you are a physician couple looking for an EFT therapist, chances are you are going to have a hard time finding someone with those credentials who lives near you.
Those who offer online therapy may be able to offer more flexible appointment times.