Emotionally Focused Therapy Archives

Why Pursuers Pursue

by Dr. Kim Blackham

In many relationships, there are individuals who naturally take on the role of pursuers. These individuals have a deep yearning for emotional connection and closeness with their partners. Unlike withdrawers who tend to suppress their needs and emotions, pursuing partners are driven to address relationship issues. They are driven by an internal belief system that emphasizes the importance of open communication, sharing of emotions, and understanding as the path to resolving conflicts and strengthening the bond.

In this article, we will explore the underlying motivations behind why pursuers pursue and how their behaviors contribute to the dynamics of relationships. By gaining insights into their perspective, we can develop a deeper understanding of their needs and the challenges they face in their pursuit of emotional intimacy.

Dining with Colleagues – What’s the Big Deal?

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Several years ago, a prominent politician made the comment that he would not eat alone with a woman other than his wife. Some people were offended–claiming that statement and behavior degraded women. Others stated his behavior was archaic. As a marriage therapist, it was curious for me to watch this national conversation unfold. Perhaps I can share a perspective that was not mentioned in the headlines.

(Please note that these opinions have nothing to do with political affiliation, but rather with my experience helping hundreds of couples heal deeply painful wounds.)

The Inside Scoop About Online Therapy

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Every week I receive several emails asking if I provide online therapy.

There are many reasons why online therapy is a good idea.

Online therapy allows people who live in small communities to reach specialists who may not live near them.
Online therapy allows people the opportunity to work with therapists who specialize in a specific population or treatment model. For example, I am a certified emotionally focused therapist who specializes in working with physician couples. If you are a physician couple looking for an EFT therapist, chances are you are going to have a hard time finding someone with those credentials who lives near you.
Those who offer online therapy may be able to offer more flexible appointment times.

What to Expect in Therapy

by Dr. Kim Blackham

It can be scary to come to therapy for the first time. Many people are unsure of what to expect and even how the process of therapy works. In this quick video, I’ll give you some basics of what to expect in therapy for the first time.

Tips to Help You Find a Marriage Therapist

by Dr. Kim Blackham

Every time we have moved, I have had to go through the process of finding new doctors, new music teachers, new babysitters, and new sports teams. Each one is a stressful and time-consuming process.

I don’t want to invest money and time into something I’m not going to be pleased with. The first thing I usually do is start asking for recommendations. I ask my neighbors and friends from church and look online for reviews. Eventually I find new doctors, music teachers, babysitters, and sports teams that I am pleased with, but it was certainly a process.Continue Reading

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy

by Dr. Kim Blackham

When couples start exploring the option of therapy, they are often unaware of the different approaches therapists may use to help them. It’s important to understand that not all couples therapy is created equal. You are looking for deep and lasting change that will help you feel safe and secure in your relationship again. It is important to find an approach to therapy that will help you achieve that goal.