Guest Post by Gayleen Gavitt When I read Kim’s blog about #itsgoodnow, it hit a cord with how I was feeling. My husband is in his 11th year of training (4 for medical school, 6 for residency, and now we are midway through a 2 year fellowship). Throughout training, I lost track of how many…
When couples start exploring the option of therapy, they are often unaware of the different approaches therapists may use to help them. It’s important to understand that not all couples therapy is created equal. You are looking for deep and lasting change that will help you feel safe and secure in your relationship again. It…
Even before beginning medical school, my husband and I were introduced to the “it gets better” perspective. An attending physician’s wife encouragingly told me medical training was worth it, but it was hard. “When it gets hard,” she told me, “just remember that it does get better.” Our first year of medical school I…
Question: We are currently in the last year of med school, and I’m wondering; what are some practical, everyday things we can do to keep our marriage strong? Especially with intern year coming up. Answer: Don’t Confuse Character with Situation When the demands of life become overwhelming, it is easy to attack your spouse’s personality when…
A few years ago, my hip was causing me a lot of pain. I couldn’t identify having specifically done something to initiate the pain, and I couldn’t seem to fix it on my own. I tried stretching, ice, rest, Motrin, but nothing seemed to help. I realized I had exhausted what I could try on…
Question: I was wondering if you had any suggestions on how to help each other express affection in the others love language when his is my lowest score and mine is his lowest score. For example, my highest is words of affirmation and lowest is physical touch. His highest is physical touch and lowest is…
It can be very difficult when a spouse is required to work nights. Something about nights adds to the loneliness and challenge of an already difficult situation. It’s easier to keep yourself busy during the day. There are often other people around such as friends, colleagues, and family members, as well as more scheduled activities…
Cindy could not find her four year old son. She looked all through the house and then the yard, but couldn’t find him anywhere. Desperate, she ran out into the street and looked up and down the road. There was her sweet son, sitting at the corner playing with his stick in the dirt. …
Question: I am in tears tonight as I type this. After 10 + years of marriage I am so discouraged. I have been with my husband since undergrad. I have been with him through everything in medical school, residency, and now our first year in a “real job.” He just continues to be more…
“Boundaries” are one of those terms that is thrown around a lot, yet many people are not really clear on what they are or how to set them. Many people think boundaries harm relationships or are only for people who need to regulate dysfunctional relationships.
A few weeks ago I posted a comment to twitter that sparked an interesting conversation. I said, “ALL relationships take significant work. The couples that make it look effortless, have made sacrifices to get it to that point.” Someone commented that perhaps it wasn’t sacrifice, but rather dedication. I agreed. Dedication is essential, but not…
Question: We have been married 16 years, have three kids, and have been in this medical life for 12 years. This is good advice for the business side of the marriage, but what about the more emotional side? I feel like we are business partners at best. After work, kids, finances, we have no time…