We will never forget watching the firefighters on Ground Zero during the days and weeks after the attacks on the World Trade Centers. We remember the prayers we offered for their safety and for the families of those who lost loved ones.
But most of us are less aware of how that event continued to haunt those New York firefighters and the impact it had on their marriages and families. George Faller worked for the New York Fire Department as a firefighter and part time counselor. He was one of the firefighters on Ground Zero that you and I were praying for. He was also the man who sat with the firefighters after the attack and tried to help them through the trauma. At the time, George did not have specific training in working with couples. He was trained to help the individuals deal with the PTSD. But as he met with them, he saw the impact the PTSD carried into the firefighters’ marriages and he became determined to learn how to help them heal both individually and as a couple.
George is now a trainer in emotionally focused couples therapy and has been a remarkable mentor to me. He and I have spent many hours discussing his work with first responders and the similarities in my work with physicians.
George is also the author of the book Sacred Stress.
In this book, George describes the emotional toll 9/11 had on his and other fire department member’s lives and marriages. He then explains how he found his way out of the fear, hopelessness, and grief by connecting with his wife. He and co-author Heather Wright explain that not all stress is bad for us. Some stress is actually good, but because most of us don’t know how to manage stress by staying connected to other people, we are often drowning in overwhelm. I love how the authors explain that the path to happiness is through connection with other people and that it doesn’t matter what stressors come into your life, you can handle them just fine when you have strong relationships. Stress can either pull us away from each other or bring us closer together.
You can learn more about George and the book in watching the quick video clip below.
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