If you have ever asked yourself, “Do we need marriage counseling?” then that is a pretty good indication that you should pursue that thought.
I believe that dedicating time to improving your relationship can be beneficial for every couple. Seeking guidance from a professional marriage therapist can help you develop the best possible relationship.
Romantic relationships are one of those things that few of us receive any training in. The only knowledge we have comes from watching our parents and other couples, and our own past romantic relationships. Most of the time, those are not the best teachers.
Yet there is often a lot of hesitation and shame associated with couples counseling. We are afraid of what others will think if they find out we are seeing a marriage therapist. Or maybe there is the fear that marriage therapy won’t work. It is a big investment – in time, money, and emotional energy. “Do I really want to invest so much when I’m not sure really we need marriage counseling or that it will help?”
Here are a few questions to ask yourself as you ponder whether or not your relationship could benefit from couples counseling.
How do I know if we need marriage counseling?
- Do you and your partner get stuck in your interactions and not know how to overcome the disconnection?
- Have there been any deep emotional hurts such as pornography, infidelity, addiction, or absence during a time of great need, such as after a miscarriage or losing a parent?
- Have you been disillusioned with the idea of marriage and what you thought romantic love would look and feel like?
- Do you feel sad, alone, or inadequate?
- Do you have an otherwise great marriage but feel there is potential for a stronger connection and deeper bonding?
- Have you or your spouse experienced any trauma or abuse?
- Is there sexual disconnection that you don’t know how to move past?
- Have you ever considered that life would be better if you were not together?
- Have you read any books on improving your relationship and felt the information wasn’t sufficient to help you achieve what you are looking for?
The good news is that we know and understand romantic love. It is not a mystery anymore. It is not a fairy tale idea that we have to grow out of now that we are adults. It is real and it is possible!
If you find yourself considering marriage counseling, even if it’s just a passing thought, I encourage you to reach out for a consultation and see if marriage therapy is right for your situation.
Invest in what matters most! As you work through disconnection and distress, you can create a strong foundation built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. By learning how to create a relationship that is both lasting and authentic, you can experience the kind of love that feels like a fairy tale but is grounded in reality.
My boyfriend and I sought couples counseling a while back and it was eye opening. We didn’t realize how many skills we were lacking and how much we just werent’ talking about. Very informative. I think anyone can benefit from marital counseling!
I agree that every couple can benefit from counseling to help develop a great relationship. My parents have been married for 30+ years. They have been doing counseling on and off for their entire marriage; not because anything was going wrong, but just to help their relationship. Many times, I think couples wait until the last straw is about to break. I think preventing a problem is a lot better than fixing one.
I have a friend who is concerned that his marriage is falling apart. Just like you mentioned in your article, he doesn’t know what others would think about him if has to go to marriage counselling. I think I will send him this article. I like how you said that just about everyone would benefit from counselling. Thanks for the info!
Thank you for the help. My wife and I really are in a happy relationship, but we have seen what can happen to any family. I love your emphasis on getting counseling even if we just think that our bond can be deeper. I think that describes us perfectly. It sounds like a wise preventative measure to take in our marriage.
Kim, these are some really amazing tips about what to do if you need marriage counseling. I like that you pointed out that wondering if you need marriage counseling can be a sign that you need some. It seems like it would be best if you can get your spouse on board with going as well.
These are really good questions to find if you should go see a counseler about your marriage. I do think that a lot of people think that once you are married it’s all sunshine and roses. With couples I have known it looks like it is a all the time thing that you have to work at. Thanks for the post.
Relationships are at the heart of our lives, they provide us with happiness, fulfillment, and a sense of belonging.
Thanks for sharing such useful information. Please keep sharing more!
I had no idea that you should go to counseling if you or your spouse experienced any trauma or abuse. I have always hated hearing about abuse, and I knew that it was bad for any relationship they have. I’m glad that counseling can help these people grow and build a stronger bond.
I like how you pointed out that every relationship needs some sort of help because we don’t always have a lot of training when it comes to relationships. I feel like a lot of people sometimes feel like they don’t need that training and it can show up in their relationships later in life as a weakness. Thanks for taking the time to share.
My mother recently got married. They have a hit a few hiccups early on. That’s why they are getting counseling. It’s better for you to talk things out before they can fester. You’re right in saying that none of us getting training in this area. I’m still a little lost when it comes to this.
My brother and his wife have been having a lot of issues in their marriage and it is starting to affect their children. You mentioned that you think every couple needs workshops, retreats, guidance, and at time couples counseling to develop the best relationship possible. Do counselors have different techniques or practices that they think help a couple? I wonder if this is something that may help them out.
Hi Derek,
I’d encourage them to look for an emotionally focused therapist. They can use this therapist locator to find someone in their area.
http://www.iceeft.com/index.php/find-a-therapist