Question: My husband lets our 10-year-old son do whatever he wants. My husband picks up after him and doesn’t ask him to do any chores. And my son just sits and plays video games. When I try to coax our son into helping out, I get back talk, and my husband doesn’t support me. I’m at the end of my rope. Do you have any suggestions?
Answer:
Many parents wonder how to get kids to do their chores – even with the support of their spouse. It can be much more difficult without their support.
Rather than trying to change your husband’s view, I would encourage you to take some time to develop your son’s internal motivation instead. Spend more time talking with him and discovering his dreams and passions. What does he want to be when he grows up? What are his talents and interests? How does he want to contribute to the world?
Once he has a vision of what he wants in life, help him understand the reasons you are asking him to contribute at home. As parents, we don’t give our children chores so we ourselves don’t have to do the dishes. We want to teach them responsibility and a strong work ethic because that will help them become successful adults.
Your son is old enough now to understand that what he does today will contribute to his success later. Reframe responsibility in terms of helping him meet his goals, rather than just doing more work and complying with your demands. Building his internal motivation for excellence and work will have much bigger payoffs than having a clean bedroom today.
