Often we say it is hard to keep going when you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I think it can be harder to keep going when you do see the light and all the exhaustion catches up to you.
I’m fine being pregnant until 36 weeks. Then I am more than DONE being pregnant and I become convinced it will never end. Medical school, residency, fellowship, my Ph.D.–all of them I have plowed through, trusting that the end will come, but not really focusing on the finish line. But something happens when the finish line comes into view. I crash. It’s like somehow my body knows it is almost finished and I hit a wall. Can you relate? It’s similar to how runners describe hitting a wall. You have pushed yourself so hard that your body begins to shut down and you’re sure you cannot keep going.
So how do you get your second wind? How do you push through the wall and finish the race you’ve been working so hard to run? I think this is where we take some good lessons from marathoners.
1. Refuel and hydrate
You have to take care of YOU! If you keep running on empty, you will eventually give out. Make sleep a priority. You can always come up with a reason to not go to bed. (Trust me, I know.) Go to bed anyway. You’ll be significantly more productive when you are rested. Instead of turning to your favorite chocolates when the stress kicks in, trust that you will feel better if you keep eating healthy and drinking enough water.
2. Reduce the intensity
Learn to say “NO!” You do not have to do everything all at once. Many things that feel crucial can actually be eliminated–either indefinitely, or for a time. You can eat off of paper plates. You can order pizza for dinner. You can skip church activities because you aren’t willing to keep your littles up for the night so your big kids can attend. This is the time to let up on your expectations. So maybe you normally run a 7-minute mile. Awesome! For the next two miles, give yourself permission to run 10-minute miles instead.
3. Take a mental time out
It’s okay to check out for a little bit. I am giving you permission right now to not always be productive. Spend time doing NOTHING. Step away from the kids, work, and other responsibilities to be quiet with yourself. That mindfulness will help you refocu when you return back to everything on your to-do list.
4. Recruit a partner
It is easier for us to manage stress when we have someone else to connect to. There have been some really cool studies looking at how our brains respond to pain and fear when we are alone versus when we are with other people. We all need other people we can rely on when things get hard. They help us “co-regulate” our emotions and stress.
5. Turn to the crowd for support
Your crowd is probably more supportive than you think. Listen to them cheer you on. Instead of focusing on all the negative, allow their voices to resonate in your mind when you feel discouraged and overwhelmed. Listen to those at the finish line that are shouting their encouragement to keep going! Even when your legs are burning and your body feels like it has nothing left to give–or rather, especially when your legs are burning and you feel like you have nothing left to give–turn to the crowd for support.
6. Have a good playlist
Music can be incredibly motivating–especially songs that have been meaningful in the past. This can also include gospel music, calm, peaceful music, as well as motivational talks. When you are driving or folding laundry, turn something on to help motivate you towards the finish line.
7. Use your mind
Sometimes you are just going to have to convince yourself you believe in your own ability and success–even when you may not. Try using positive statements as though they were already true. So for example, instead of saying, “I think I can make it to the end with a positive attitude” say, “I’ve totally got this! Sure I’m tired. But I know how to keep pushing through when I’m tired. I do hard things–and I do them well.” Your brain will eventually believe it as though it is already the reality.
8. Just make it to the next lamppost
That’s it. You only have to make it to the next lamppost. And then you can make it to the next one. Try not to think about the next thing on your list until it is time to think about the next thing. Worrying and stressing does not make the next task any easier. It only makes today’s tasks more overwhelming.
My encouragement to you is to keep going. Once you cross that finish line you’ll look back and wonder how you were ever able to pull it off. But you’ll also experience a tremendous sense of pride that you were able to do it. Hang it there. You’ve totally got this!
