Finding a Marriage Therapist

Deciding to see a therapist can feel a overwhelming. Who should I see? What specialty should I look for? How will I know they are the right fit?

All of these are really good questions and I hope I can help you answer them.

The most important thing to remember in looking for a good therapist is to be a good consumer. Therapy is like any other service you buy. You are investing your time, money, and hope in the therapist’s ability to help you. Ask lots of questions. If for some reason you do not feel that the therapist is a good fit for you, it is okay to not reschedule another appointment and to keep looking for someone who does fit well for you. Below are some important things to consider and some specific questions to ask as you are speaking to therapists to find the right fit.

Find a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)

If you are looking for marriage counseling, I would encourage you to find a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT). There are a lot of different educational pathways that can allow someone to work as a counselor or therapist. Marriage and family therapists are specifically trained to work with relationships from a systemic perspective. That is very different than an individual therapist who tries to apply the same principles to a relationship.

Find someone with advanced training in couples therapy outside of graduate school.

Research is continually evolving. You want a therapist that is up to date on the most effective techniques for treating marital distress. Specifically ask what therapeutic approach he or she uses and what their success rate is. Right now Emotionally Focused Therapy has the highest success rate for couples therapy. In addition, it is important to find a therapist that frequently sees couples. Ask the therapist what percentage of their clientele are couples. You want to find someone highly experienced with couples.

You will also want to consider logistics. Does the therapist’s work hours and location fit what you need? Most insurance companies do not pay for marriage therapy, so many marriage and family therapists do not accept any insurance. If that is a necessary component for you, call your insurance company and see if they can provide you with the name of any providers on their panels.

Find a marriage therapist that sees both you and your partner together.

This is crucial! It is common to have one or two individual sessions as part of the therapy, but the majority of your sessions should be together. Marriage therapy is most effective with both parties to the relationship are present.

Specific Questions to Ask

How much of your clientele is with couples?
How long have you been seeing couples?
What approach/therapeutic method do you use?
What is your training in working with couples?
What is your success rate?
What is your approach to confidentiality and privacy?
What is your experience working with couples in our situation?
What types of issues do you specialize in addressing?
**If looking for intensive based couples counseling, make sure and ask how long they have been seeing couples in intensive based format and how many couples they have seen in that format.

Conclusion

If you are considering a marriage therapist, there is part of you that already hopes someone can help you and your spouse find connection. Don’t put that off. Follow your gut. Put in the effort to find a therapist that has the ability to help you. Move forward with therapy.

Even if you’re feeling skeptical or lacking hope, it’s important to remember that many couples have experienced significant transformations through therapy. It can be helpful to borrow hope from the countless success stories where couples have found greater happiness and fulfillment than they ever thought possible.

Embrace the possibility of positive change and take that important step forward. With the guidance of a qualified therapist and your willingness to engage in the process, there is a genuine chance for you and your spouse to rediscover connection, strengthen your bond, and find renewed happiness in your relationship.

Related Article: Do We Need Marriage Therapy?

Comments

Julia Carlson says

at

I think you made a really good point when you said to find a marriage counselor that sees you and your spouse together. I think that is really important for any relationship. I definitely agree, that being together makes marriage therapy more successful. My daughter is looking for a marriage therapist, so I’ll have to suggest this to her. http://www.fcaalaska.org/