Let’s be honest, on a day-to-day basis, the idea of family dinner night can seem overwhelming. It can feel like an impossible feat to prepare a meal that everyone will eat – let alone appreciate. By the time all the kids are corralled and present at the table, somehow utensils turn into weapons and everyone begins fighting over the “favorite bowl.” It doesn’t take long before one sibling is shrieking, “He’s smelling my food!” while another child demands it is his night to say the prayer.
That’s when I give my husband the “Family dinner is highly overrated” look.
Isn’t it easier to separate each of the kids and feed them when they are hungry rather than when everyone is finally together? It can be exhausting to talk about how good the broccoli is night after night and encourage each child to stay in their seat. At our house, we had to strap one of our children into a five-point harness car seat every night at dinner for a year. The excitement of dad being home coupled with exhaustion from the day made it impossible for him to stay sitting in his chair.
Related: Family Traditions and Why They Matter.
No wonder my ideal date is a night out without the kids where someone else prepares and cleans up the meal.
So why does family dinner matter and is it really worth all of the effort?
In a 2012 study, researchers found that teens who frequently had dinner together as a family (5-7 times a week) reported having better relationships with their parents and were less likely to use addictive substances.
Do you remember the 80’s TV sitcom Cheers? I’ve always remembered their theme song –
“Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name,And they’re always glad you came;And you want to be where you can see,Our troubles are all the same,You want to be where everybody knows your name.”We all need that same sense of belonging, and if our children don’t get it at home, they will search for it somewhere else. Regular family dinners can provide that sense of cohesion and family solidarity. It is a time to reconnect with each individual as well as the family as a whole. This kind of time together allows siblings (amidst the bickering with each other) to hear what is going on in each other’s lives and offer support and encouragement. Consistent family dinners provide family members confidence they will always have a place to go at the end of the day – where they belong – where other people “get them.”
Family Dinners Made Easy
- Dinnertime is always easier when planned ahead of time. One woman I know makes dinner as soon as she cleans up breakfast. That way she is not overwhelmed with making dinner when the crazy after-school schedule sets in. Coming up with a meal schedule for the week or month is also helpful.
- Keep things simple. The main value in eating together is building relationships. It may be fun to occasionally do something more elaborate, but if you are stressed out, your kids will be stressed too.
- Use a game to encourage conversation. One of my college roommates had a sister who would monopolize the conversation, so they started a game called, “Interesting Things.” Each person would tell one “Interesting Thing” about their day. This allowed everyone a chance to talk and connect.
If you have a spouse or child who is frequently not home for dinner, check out this article on Family Dinner Time When One Parent Works Late.
Occasionally, hold special family dinners that everyone can look forward to.
My husband lived in Switzerland for a couple of years where, among other things, he learned how to make some fabulous cheese fondue. As poor medical students, we could only afford making fondue for special occasions. Now, every birthday, he makes a pot of his famous fondue, and we all sit around the table laughing and talking. Besides being delicious, one of the best things about fondue is the social nature of the meal – allowing lots of time for building relationships.
In honor of family dinner time, I shared Aaron’s oft-requested Authentic Cheese Fondue Recipe with my favorite food blogger, Mel at MelsKitchenCafe.com. She has posted his FONDUE RECIPE on her site today and just for fun – {and because we really like you guys} we are giving away TWO CLASSIC FONDUE POTS – one from each of us. GIVEAWAY CLOSED
Leave a comment below and let me know how you have made family dinner nights work in your home.
Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
