When a relationship is in crisis, it can feel like there are no good options. One partner may want to work things out, while the other is ready to call it quits. Discernment counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples in this situation determine whether they want to try to save their marriage or move toward divorce.
What is discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling is a short-term therapy approach that helps couples in crisis make a decision about the future of their relationship. It is designed for couples where one partner is considering divorce and the other wants to work on the marriage. The goal is to help both partners gain clarity and confidence about whether to move forward with couples therapy or to move toward a separation or divorce.
How does discernment counseling work?
Discernment counseling typically involves three to five sessions, each lasting about two hours. The first session is usually a joint session with both partners, where the therapist explains the process and gathers information about the couple’s history and current issues. The therapist will then meet with each partner individually to further explore their perspective and concerns. In the final session, the therapist will help the couple make a decision about the future of their relationship and provide resources for moving forward.
What are the three choices in discernment counseling?
In discernment counseling, the therapist helps the couple find clarity to make one of three choices:
1.Continuing with the marriage as is: The first option is to continue with the marriage as it currently stands – maintain the status quo.
2. Moving towards divorce or separation: The second option is to move towards separation or divorce. This choice involves recognizing that the current situation is not sustainable and that both partners may be better off moving on.
3. Taking a six-month pause: The third option is to agree to a six-month period of time to reassess the relationship and commit to working on issues to determine if the marriage can be saved. During this time, the couple agrees to not pursue divorce or make any major decisions about the relationship.
It’s important to note that discernment counseling is not designed to fix the relationship or provide solutions but rather to help the couple gain clarity and make an informed decision about their future.
Who can benefit from discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling is designed for couples in crisis where one partner is considering divorce and the other wants to work on the marriage. It can be particularly helpful for couples who have tried couples therapy before and have not made progress, or for those who are unsure about whether to try couples therapy at all. Discernment counseling can also be beneficial for couples who want to gain clarity about their options before making a final decision.
What are the benefits of discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling provides a safe space for couples to explore their options and gain clarity about the future of their relationship. It can help both partners feel heard and understood, even if they ultimately decide to separate or divorce. Discernment counseling can also be a more efficient and cost-effective option than traditional couples therapy, which may require a longer commitment.
What happens after discernment counseling?
At the end of discernment counseling, couples have three options: 1) take time to reflect and make a decision in the future, 2) begin the process of separation or divorce, or 3) work on the marriage through couples therapy.
Conclusion
By providing a safe space for exploration and decision-making, discernment counseling can help couples move forward with greater clarity and confidence. If you are considering divorce and your partner wants to work on the marriage, discernment counseling may be a valuable option to consider.
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