Intensive Marriage Therapy
We all know family dinner time is important, but what do you do when one spouse works late most/every night? It can be extremely frustrating to go to all the work of preparing a nice meal, only to receive a phone call saying she is not going to make it home for dinner again. Now you are left serving a nice meal to a handful of unappreciative young children that would have preferred scrambled eggs and pancakes or a peanut butter sandwich.
Related: Family Dinner Time
Let’s be honest, on a day-to-day basis, the idea of family dinner night can seem overwhelming. It can feel like an impossible feat to prepare a meal that everyone will eat – let alone appreciate. By the time all the kids are corralled and present at the table, somehow utensils turn into weapons and everyone begins fighting over the “favorite bowl.” It doesn’t take long before one sibling is shrieking, “He’s smelling my food!” while another child demands it is his night to say the prayer.
That’s when I give my husband the “Family dinner is highly overrated” look.Continue Reading
I often hear that one of the biggest hang-ups with family traditions is that they are just one more thing to do. We are already tired and stretched so thin, how are we supposed to manage another thing?
Do you ever experience that same feeling? The time comes for you to implement a tradition that was started years ago – that you didn’t even mean to start as a tradition, but now is expected and feels like a lot of work? Do you ever sit back and wonder if traditions are worth all the effort?
I have found three things helpful in keeping traditions a part of our family.Continue Reading
The September 2014 edition of Parent’s Magazine featured me in their article on how to keep kids from interrupting.
Children interrupting is one of the more aggravating aspects of parenting. It can seem that no matter how hard you try, teaching preschoolers appropriate manners feels like a losing battle. In addition to the great suggestions offered in the article, here are a few more things you can consider. Continue Reading
Marriage therapy, like any form of therapy, may not be an appropriate option in certain situations. While it can be highly beneficial for many couples, there are some instances where it may not be the best course of action. This is specifically true for intensive couples therapy. Here are a few situations where marriage therapy may not be a good idea:
If there is a history of domestic violence, abuse, or any situation where there is a risk of harm to one or both partners, individual safety takes precedence. In such cases, ensuring immediate safety and seeking appropriate help, such as shelter, legal protection, or counseling specifically focused on trauma and abuse, should be the priority.
If one or both partners are not committed to working on the relationship or have already made a firm decision to separate or divorce, marriage therapy may not be effective. Both partners need to be willing to actively participate and invest in the therapy process for it to be successful. If one partner is leaning into the relationship and the other partner is leaning out or unsure what he or she wants, discernment counseling would be a better option than marriage therapy.
In order for marriage therapy to be effective, a certain level of stability and sobriety is typically necessary. Addiction is a complex issue that often requires specialized treatment and support on an individual level. Active addictions can impair communication, trust, and emotional connection, making it difficult to engage in the couples therapy process. In cases where one or both partners are struggling with addiction, it is generally recommended that they seek individual therapy or treatment specifically tailored to address addiction-related issues before beginning relational therapy.
Sometimes, individual issues such as severe mental health disorders, addictions (mentioned above), or personal crises may be better addressed through individual therapy before engaging in couples therapy. In these cases, it may be more effective to work on individual healing and personal growth before addressing relationship dynamics.
In marriage therapy, both partners ideally come with a shared commitment to work on the relationship and address the issues at hand. An ongoing affair is indicative that the unfaithful partner is not ready to fully commit to therapy or to repairing the relationship. Rebuilding trust is a crucial component of marriage therapy, but when the affair is still ongoing, it’s impossible to establish a foundation of trust necessary for productive therapy sessions. It’s also impossible for the unfaithful partner to begin to emotionally invest in the marriage again. You can’t create safety in your marriage if there is a safety net somewhere else.
Marriage therapy after an affair has ended is often a crucial step to healing and rebuilding the relationship. It is imperative, however, that the affair be discontinued or the individuals be in the process of ending the affair before beginning marriage therapy.
If you have questions about marriage therapy being a good option for your situation, please read more about intensive based marriage therapy and reach out for a free consultation. We can discuss your individual needs and concerns and determine if it is the right fit.
Three years ago last month some of our dear friends, Andrea and Tyler Gasser, lost their four month old little boy, Beckett. She went upstairs to her bedroom to wake him up from a nap only to find him unconscious. Days in the pediatric ICU did not revive him.
I remember when I received the phone call telling me that they had asked someone to bring them a pair of jammies and a blanket from home so they could wrap him up and hold him one last time before they removed life support and said good-bye. I wept for their family. My heart still hurts for them. At the time, I had a 4 week old baby boy and I grieved along with her as I could so easily imagine myself in her situation.
When these kinds of tragedies or difficulties happen, most of us do not know what to do or what to say. We don’t know how to help someone grieve. We know that our expressions of, “I’m so sorry for your loss” feel trite and even awkward, yet we care deeply and want to help. Most of the time, we just don’t know how.Continue Reading
